YOUR
HUMBLE AUTHOR
Mark Hasty is perhaps best known as the inventor of the wildly popular
frozen treat GlacierStyx, the world's first fat-free, sugar-free,
low-carb, ice-flavored, stickless frozen confection. While he is
not the person who came up with the idea, he is the one who decided to
charge $2.75 for it.
Harvard-educated (in the sense that it was Harvard which told him he
was not Ivy League material), Mark is an internationally known
authority on the cultural geography of unpopulated areas. He is a
motivated self-starter, he is a team player, he would gladly have
another cup of coffee, and he is not going to pay a lot for this
muffler. Loud noises frighten and confuse him. His favorite
color and flavor are both the same: green. He would make a good
third-string fullback for an unambitious football team. He
believes that the ultimate question in life is to determine what
constitutes a "healthy" level of obsession with Charles Nelson
Reilly.
On the negative side, there are many rocks which are too heavy for him
to lift. When he makes white sauce, it frequently turns out
beige. He is a total music snob. He has never seen an
entire episode of Star Trek (any series), nor does he care to. He
frequently mispronounces the name of a restaurant in his community,
referring to it as "Charcoal Oven" when its name is in fact "Charcoal
Grill." He overuses both semicolons and ellipses. It is
best not to talk to him in the mornings until you have seen him refill
his coffee cup at least once. While he has many friends, he has
few acquaintances. He has a tendency to be snippy when talking on
the phone, and he always overcooks chicken.
Mark lives in a Milwaukee suburb whose name rhymes with "best
friend." He is married to a long-suffering but freakishly patient
woman, and he has children. His ultimate hope in life is to keep
adding bizarre factoids to this biography. In his spare time he
writes this website, collects take-out menus, and staples things to the
sides of barns. He is not a candidate to become head coach of the
Nebraska Cornhuskers, but thank you for asking.
Quotes about Mark:
". . . he seems to be obsessed with bad cars."--Bryan, Arguing With Signposts". . . the official Destiny Stahl website."--James Joyner, Outside the Beltway". . . The following addresses had permanent fatal
errors:"--postmaster@aol.com- " . . . a recently updated weblog."--Blogrolling.com
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